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It's almost a year to the day when I planned my suicide.  I had been suffering from an undiagnosed depressive episode brought on by a change in med...

Unmet expectations.  Having an idea in our minds of how our lives are going to be and how everything is going to pan out, only to have the rug pulled from under our feet.  Unfulfilled expectations can be devastating.  They can leave us bitter, angry, and without hope.  Have you ever dealt with unmet expectations?  Maybe with a spouse, relationship, job, or…dare I say, with God? 

If you are anything like me, you are familiar with this verse.  You have probably heard it a million times. Maybe you have used these words to comfort a loved one or have been comforted by them.  But I want to ask you today, are you experiencing this promise in your own life?  I can honestly say there was a time in my life when things were NOT working.  I did everything in my power to force them, which only made matters worse.   But why were things not working out?  Why were they not working together for good?  Doesn't God promise this?  I truly didn’t understand. 

I was 29 when my first husband left me with our three children to care for because of his overpowering drug addiction. Remembering those days and months and years are painful, even now after nine years have passed. Along with those painful memories comes the healing and relief I found when comforting others in their pain in Christ’s name.

There is always a cost to our inaction.  When we don’t act on the things God is calling us to, the impact is felt far beyond just ourselves.    

What is the cost of inaction in your life?  Maybe it’s costing you personal joy.  It’s hard to be fulfilled and content when we aren’t being doers of the things God is placing on our hearts.  But what if there is a bigger price being paid?  What if it’s affecting your family?  Maybe it’s costing your family a blessing.  Maybe the impact of inaction is reaching your community, your church, or the kingdom of God as a whole.      

I used to look at spiritually strong women and assume they got lucky.  I used to think that God gifted them with something I could never attain, a spiritual understanding that I just didn’t receive.  It took me a long time to learn that this is not the case!  We all have the opportunity for an intimate relationship with our Creator, the difference is in those who are willing to work for it.  Do you feel like you have an intimate relationship with Christ, or do you also find yourself looking around, craving the closeness that is so evident in others?

As strange as it may sound, when I am going through tough times or find myself in the middle of circumstances that are out of my control, it is actually not peace that I’m seeking at all.  I want understanding!  I want to know the ‘why's’.  I want to know the ‘how's’.  I’m desperately searching for a way to be ok in the state of not knowing.  “Lord, please help me understand!” 

How many times have I come to Christ simply because I desired all His benefits?  Lord, give me this so I won’t have to struggle again.  Lord, make it easier for me.  Lord, make it more comfortable for me.  Lord, take away this burden.  So often, we desire physical comfort over spiritual growth.  We want the benefits of Jesus without any sacrifice.  We want to get but not give. 

I have made so many excuses in my life.  Excuses to not obey.  Excuses to neglect the things God was asking of me.  Excuses to follow my own lead instead of submitting to His.  I can think of many times in my own life when what He was asking made no sense.  Times when I questioned His knowledge.  Times when excuses came way easier than obedience.  Have you ever questioned what Jesus was asking you to do?  Or perhaps found making excuses easier than obeying?

Every morning for almost a year, I wrote this verse in my journal.  I needed something true.  I needed something I could trust.  I needed a way to test the ideas, the passions and the desires that were on my heart.  Why?  Because the heart is a tricky thing.  The world tells us to follow it, yet God warns of its deceitfulness.  Have you ever been deceived by your own heart?  Have you ever acted on the passions within you only to be left empty or unsatisfied?  

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So often, we look at what others are doing, and we assume they possess something special.  We assume God has equipped them with unique bravery.  We assume that God works differently in them than He does in us.  With tears in my eyes, I am telling you that is a lie.  It was a lie when God called Moses.  It was a lie when God called me.  It is a lie for the calling He has for you.